French Version

"The most amazing web page on the internet today!" raved WebReview Weekly about a completely unrelated web page.

	MAKING THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE Forging the way for a new age of enlightenment are educated philosophers and musicians forced to do public service announcements. And then there are things like this page that are just pictures of Lynda Carter combined with text that rarely has anything to do with her. Disclaimer: The page is named improperly and is of no help to anyone. "Licking the computer monitor clean isn't nearly as unpleasant when there are pictures of Wonder Woman on it!" exclaimed a slightly embarrassed Seanbaby while coughing up dust.		SEANBABY'S OTHER PAGE Created at 3:30 in the morning in the middle of several personal and political crises, this mentally destructive collection of words and images is what I realized I had done after waking up in a pile of vomit in a Mexican jail. In what is single handedly responsible for over twelve people unsubscribing to America Online and is affectionately called "Seanbaby's Bitchy Page" by fans, you can amaze your friends at how long something can be and yet still have no point. "What a narcissistic little fag," commented BeerDawg, a member of the local Delta Iota Kappa fraternity.
	SEANBABY'S ART PAGE Armed with his Bachelor of Arts Degree in Art, Seanbaby babbles about the art world and his place in it. But don't worry, he didn't pay attention much in class, so it's not like he'll talk over your head. This page features a bunch of Seanbaby's spandexed metaphorical extensions of his penis. "You almost tricked me into thinking you knew what you were talking about, you *ACK!" critiqued an art historian before Seanbaby hit him in the throat.		ARMY OF DARKNESS Come see a film ignored by Hollywood and praised by internet nerds through the perspective of a true fancy pants. One of Seanbaby's more unique pages since he doesn't spend half of it explaining why he doesn't like you, it has all the comics, pictures, and quotes you need to complete the Bruce Campbell collage in your basement. "U r FuCKiInG StoOpid,DoOD!!1!" commented a recent aol visitor while dreaming of one day growing chest hair.
	BLOODSPORT & FLASH GORDON A page devoted to the finest in cinema from the romantic saga of Flash Gordon to the introspective and rivetting Bloodsport. "I don't know how you can have such an extensive film education and still praise this garbage," said most of the faculty at the University of Idaho in a recent letter to Seanbaby suggesting he change his major to Tourism and Recreation.		FROM DUSK TILL DAWN This page gives disputable proof about how movies should always contain Danny Trejo, Fred Williamson, and Mexican vampires. From Seanbaby, a man whose advice should never be listened to at any time, and whose pages are better suited for using in your case against internet freedom of speech. "How the hell could I have not been in this film?" demanded Al Leong after dressing up like Genghis Khan and getting shot by Chow Yun Fat in an alley.
	THE ROSY PAGE What started as a simple internet panties-selling business relationship grew into an almost beautiful friendship as Seanbaby and Ro began exchanging emails even when they weren't interested in buying one another's underwear. Seanbaby said the friendship started since Ro was funny, but she said she only talked to him because she didn't have any underwear left to sell and had nothing better to do. "Rosy is smashing! She talks just like Austin Powers, baby!" exclaimed one young reader before leaping into traffic.		THE FICTION PAGE Action and adventure can be yours as Grampa Timmy and the Dread Pirate Danny leave for their fantastic voyage across the shark infested water of the Chocalate Rain Forest. After the indians attack with their army of bigfoots, the only way Go-Kart Warrior will survive is if you believe in fairies hard enough! So clap, you little whores, while you read shockingly explosive stories of excitement! "Oh sweet Jesus. Somebody didn't actually write this crap down did they?" critiqued one ummoved reader.
	DESPERADO AND EL MARIACHI Extend a helping hand this Christmas by donating to little Jenny's charity. Every click to this Desperado page will take 4 cents away from this dying girl's wish to one day fall in a well. The Society for Children in Peril ask that you do not visit or even look too long at the link to this page. "I fell in a well once. Well, not really a well. It was just a wheelbarrow," commented an old retarded man after Wheel of Fortune went to commercial.		READER MAIL "I stumbled along yur page frm link and yu suck. Kristians are cool. jst cause u are not is np reasno to redicule them!!!" These and other hilarious reader anecdotes are available here. It's a frightening look inside the head of the strange people that enjoyed this enormous pile of haphazardly arranged shit I call a website. And I didn't forget the people that hate me, which is reportedly a significant portion of the population.
	CURRENT EVENTS AND NEWS Did you wish you could hear more current event based humor? Of course you didn't, but I made this fucking page anyway. In it, you can keep up with all the signs of the coming apocalypse. Yeah, it's the same Gay Teletubbies, pro wrestling governors, and severed penises you heard about everywhere else, but from a reporter who swears and hates everybody. "It's like a talk show monologue, only it doesn't suck ass!" commented a man who checked into the emergency to remove a curling iron from his ass.		THE HOSTESS FRUIT PIE PAGE Remember when you could stop evil with a Twinkie? When the light, flaky crust of a Hostess Fruit Pie could make any villain forget their badly thought out plans for world domination? If you do, then this page will remind you how fucking crazy it can get when you mix super heroes and snacks. "The largest collection of Hostess Fruit Pie ads in the world!? My Spider-Crotch (tm) is tingling!" blurted a nervous Peter Parker as he tried on his new Space Vampire Robo Security Guard action accessories.
	THE A.T.H.E.N.A. SUPER QUIZ Did you always wish you could become a super hero? Here, you can test your abilities in an interactive super quiz. It's like Choose Your Own Adventure, only with two syllable words, and if you score well, other people can visit and read about your superness. Warning: this page will make you invisible. "I'm gonna save Stilt Man! I'm a real hero just like Magnum PI and Action Jehova!!!" cheered a young gay boy with a fake moustache and a saucepan on his head.		THE NES PAGES Squeeze your hand into your Power Glove and jam a copy of Kid Icarus in your pants and you still don't have all the excitement or the excitement of these Nintendo pages. It's like reliving ninja slaughtering afternoons of your childhood, only with a sarcastic blue haired dick talking over your shoulder."Bouncing Backstreet Boys! Seanbaby's NES Pages are wicked awesome!" praised New Kids on the Block's Jordan Knight before his parents kicked him off the internet for downloading pictures of himself naked.
	STUPID See nerdy God kids show you what cool really is. Hear the stunning testimonials of sex starved asian men. All this and more can be yours as you enter a page based entirely on stupid things you people do. "Oh sure, you can make fun of some reality impaired mythology freaks, Seanbaby, but can you bend this steel bar WITH YOUR MIND?!?" demanded a phone psychic after pinpointing the exact first letter of the city Seanbaby was thinking of moving to. The psychic then assured him that he would shine in his new career.		THE PAGE ABOUT SEANBABY Seanbaby's saga. The amazingly true story of a young orphaned boy growing up on the tough streets of Indonesia. Fighting to survive with only his wits and a sponge, will he unlock his ultimate dance potential in time to rekindle the sexual revolution? Warning: Due to its nonviolent nature and lack of nudity, this page should not be viewed by anyone. "More fun than being nailed to a board and peed on by Romans and Jews," quipped your lord, Jesus Christ.
	THE VIDEO GAMES PAGE A strangely informative page where the lesser historical moments of video games are brought to light. With games about Jesus, dental hygiene, the A-Team, and Hide n' Sneak, it promises to barely be more fun than Seanbaby's Dead Insect Gallery Page and not quite as fun as the Spice Girls' Breasts Page. "Seanbaby's insightful look at such video game classics produces a heartfelt and descriptive essay the whole family can enjoy," said a legless skateboard messenger after I kicked him over.		SUPER FRIENDS Kaze no do ni hyaku! Considered the leading cause of mental illness among young adults today, this cartoon combined all the fun of blue monkeys with all the power of a man who can talk to fish. "You got a problem with the Super Friends dickhead!? I will call a fish to suck your face off!!! We'll see who's Mr. Funny Man now!" said one of the show's writers after visiting the site with the child they had recently purchased. Sources indicate he may have been wearing Aqua Man underoos.
	STUPID COMICS Some comics have transcended their genre to be considered great literature by the mainstream. However, everything represented on this page is about as well written as the insane scribblings of a monkey with a concussion. That includes the shit Seanbaby types while he's trying to pretend to not be looking down the shirt of the girl next to him. That's what makes this page notably stupid, even for the internet. "Is this train station?" questioned a confused Japanese tourist.		THE JOYCE PAGE In a shocking announcement that he was straight, Seanbaby created this page about his adorable girlfriend, Joyce. It is quite possibly the prettiest webpage ever created. And even though Sean can't capture all of the coolness that is Joyce in a web page as well as he can in an 80's rock ballad, visitors of this place should still leave with a need to hug the cute little Basque disco queen. "Dood, can u send me som nude pix of Joyse?" asked a thoughtful reader. Seanbaby, of course, responded with the standard form letter accompanying 30 pornographic jpeg images.