You should know that some pussies have been known to find sarcasm and bad words confusing and offensive. If so, I, your sexual fantasy from the future, advise you to find a new source of free comedy, caveman. For those who stayed at the risk of face rockage, you should know that soon, like all Earth entertainment, this site will be replaced by Doctor Excitement's Fun Blaster, a peace-bringing combination midget generator and launcher. Until then, examine this guide to the different sections of filth: THE SEANBABY PROBE... Before genetic brain enhancement became mandatory, your savage time period was notorious for its ridiculous laws and subnormal video entertainment, not to mention your near death-wish in the careless development of sociopath kill toilets. The Probe covers stories such as these, and is represented by an image of your century's top headline: "Mr. T Combats Robot, Victor to be Declared Mayor." THE NINTENDO PAGE... In the year 2002, the Galactic Council of Earth will vote to legalize ninjitsu, dodge ball, and murder. This will turn video games into useless relics. This section of Seanbaby.com is devoted to the NES, which is considered in video game history to be the peak of kickass. It ridicules not only the games, but also the insane culture that surrounded Nintendo. Such as Nintendo players and Nintendo players in jumpsuits. THE SUPER FRIENDS PAGE... Unlike video games and women, cartoons never actually become obselete. You'll understand why thanks to this detailed analysis of the Super Friends, why they were idiots and how they were probably gay. And if you're reading this from the future, "gay" is where one man had sex with another man's butthole while he was dressed like a rainbow. I know, it's crazy. THE STUPID PAGE... During the pathetic apetime of the 2000's, a low-level hypnotic signal was being broadcast to keep your monkey minds subdued. This section of the site will interfere with that signal by punching your brain in the groin with articles on human stupidity. Oh, and if you're reading this from the future, a "groin" is the area where your Solar-Powered Fish Dispenser is now located. THE HOSTESS PAGE & THE STUPID COMICS PAGE... There are two sections of the site devoted to the shortcomings in graphic literature-- The Hostess Page examines the phenomenon of heroes fighting crime with snacks. The Stupid Comics Page is also devoted to comic retardation like men on flying bicycles with flamethrowing umbrellas, but has less of a laser-like focus than the page that's just about cupcakes. READER MAIL... Before Seanbaby.com was declared obscene by WHAFE (Wally Hendersen Against Fucking Everything), it was popular with people that hated it, lazy office workers, and hollywood's most exciting stars. This section features reader mail, hottie female readers, reader comics, and anything else that involves the work of devoted readers, many of whom probably can't read. WHAT'S NEW?... This section lists the most recent additions to the site, with a Western flair. It's represented by a picture of Buck Rogers and pals, because they're so new they're from the future. A cute fictional future where every third citizen isn't dropped into the Endless Pain Pit of Tor for the entertainment of the Asteroid Lords. This section will be rendered obselete several weeks before you, ape from the past, finish reading this. All new articles will be linked to from the front page of the site. Seanbaby.com is the work of one ridiculous man. The following information on him cost several hundred kittens their lives, although their slaughter was an unrelated horror of our future people: Name: Seanbaby Occupation: Timecop Email: seanbaby@seanbaby.com Birthday: June 15th, 1976 Education: Art degree, mean streets. Corporate Headquarters: Head-shaped volcano base, Mission, San Francisco Likes: Crappy superhero cartoons, Fighting, Volleyball, Drinking Dislikes: Collecting information on international flags, Poetry Girlfriend Status: Yes, mochalicious. Pictures of Female Readers Dressed as Wonder Woman: Strongly in favor of. For more information about me, get your face to investigate these articles: Most Recent Unedited Photos The Massive and Dynamic Seanbaby.com Photo Album Homemade Fireworks: Celebrating America Like a Bad Motherfucker And More Fireworks My First Webpage Secret Diary Confessions AWARDS AND ACCOMPLISHMENTS: Either Seanbaby.com the site or Seanbaby the me have been featured on MTV, MTV2, Attack of the Show, G4's Video Game Vixens, G4TV.com, American Splendor: Our Movie Year, CNBC, G4 commercials, Game Daily Biz, The Wall Street Journal, Cracked Magazine, G-Force Magazine, Yahoo Picks, The Weekender, 1up.com, RedFM 104 to 106 Irish radio, Comics International, the Raw 2 and Wrestlemania XIX strategy guides, Global 100's top 100 Home Pages on the Internet, Cruel Site of the Day, XBOX Nation, Yahoo! Internet life magazine, Suck.com, random walls in Unreal 2, Electronic Gaming Monthly, GMR, The Wave Magazine, the credits of Kinetica, the credits of Road Rash 64, Tech TV's Internet Tonight twice, Vice Magazine, Maxim, American Playstation magazine, PC Format Magazine, the Howard Stern Show, E! Online, KPTV news, bad erotic fan fiction, Wizard Magazine, and your dreams. The site's won about eighty web awards, and thanks everybody, but let's not pretend anyone actually wants to look at them.